Erectile Dysfunction Association

Notice a trend these days? It started with Viagra, went to Cialis and Levitra, what is it with all these drugs for erectile dysfunction. Rather then inundate American TV with saturation coverage I'd like to suggest that the pharmaceutical industry, at least in the USA, join forces to create the Happy American eRectile Dysfunction Omnibus Nation (HARDON).
HARDON will commit to airing equal treatment of these three drugs at opportune times, Football games, pro Wrestling and the like and alleviate the rest of us having to endure "...while rare, persons with erections lasting more then four hours should seek immediate medical treatment".

Stem Cell Confusion

I'm confused. The US Congress is about to pass a law stating that embryonic stem cell research should be funded. Tom Delay get's up and claims that no taxpayer money should be used to "dismember" these embryonic humans. Of course he forgets the fact that there are no "members" to dis. The confusing part to me is there are approximately 400,000 frozen embryos sitting in cryogenic tanks. Most of these are the byproducts of fertilization efforts. Many couples don't know what to do with these embryos so they just sit there. Many more simply tell the storage facilities to destroy the embryos. Explain to me why it's legal to destroy those embryos, but NOT to use them for research?

Let me repeat, it's legal to destroy unwanted embryos, it's illegal to donate them for research. Welcome to the Alice in Wonderland world of partisan politics.

Weather or Not

Hey you know the weather service...The National Weather Service (NWS), an agency of the venerable US Government. They do a terrific job gathering data, forecasting the weather and making it available to the public. OK got that straight. Well golly gee they are doing such a wonderful job that it must be a problem right? Well thank goodness Pennsylvania Senator Rick Sanitarium oops Santorum has introduced a bill that will greatly limit the distribution of weather information.

Why you ask? Well that great American institution know as campaign donations has come to save the day as AccuWeather a private forecasting weather company, coincidentally based in Pennsylvania, think that the NWS is competing with them and making their little ole' job too difficult. Let's forget that the data gathered by oodles of sensors and satellites is ALL taxpayer funded. And let's forget that timely weather information is vital to saving lives in tornado alley and hurricane battered states. And let's forget that pilots are vitally dependent on accurate timely weather information. We've simply got to ensure that the future restrictions on data access are put into place to help the great state of Santorum.

Hey you want weather data, stick your head out a window!

If Star Wars Characters were Politicians

Just imagine if the the Star Wars characters were politicians...who would they be?

Han Solo = Howard Dean; Han tends to scream a lot

Yoda = Senator Robert Byrd; No one pontificates like Senator Byrd

Queen Amadela = Paris Hilton; Yep a total air head

Obi-Wan Kenobi = Ronald Reagan; Everybody likes the guy

Chewbacca - Zell Miller; Gets mad good

Luke Skywaker = John Edwards; Tilting at windmills

R2/D2 = John Kerry; More facts then we want to know

C3PO = Ross Perot; So polite and great with numbers

Princess Leia = Hillary Clinton; Way too ambitious

Darth Vader = Dick Cheney; No explanation necessary

Hello Mom...Iraq?

Hey Mom...how's Iraq? Yeah I miss.....bzzzzzz....excuse me hang up that telephone. Hell no! It's my mom from Iraq!

In another example of the genius of "no tolerance" rules, the bright bulbs at Spencer High School, in Columbus Georgia suspend
a student for taking a call from his mother in Iraq.
Suspended

But wait! A couple of days later, after public outcry, the school suddenly backtracks and reduces the suspension to "time served"
Back at school
I love school bureaucracies.

Laura "Leno" Bush

Just in case you missed the big news, this past weekend Laura Bush "roasted" her hubby George. Mrs. Bush delivered a series of zingers at the annual White House Correspondents dinner, an attempt to bring the media closer to the White House, not a bad idea actually. No question about it, she was a riot (good writers) and her delivery was superb. Now just imagine if some of the jokes had been along the following vein:

After George's 9PM bed time the twins and I really party, the Secret Service get's the best weed.

We just love piping Howard Stern into the FCC meetings.

At the last meeting of the RNC we snuck copies of "Fahrenheit 9/11" into the gift bags, it was Cheney's idea, he's such a stinker.

The last time we had a family gathering at Camp David, my mother in-law was there and I kept on flushing the toilet while she was taking a shower...wow you should have heard those screams!


Ah well...maybe next time.

(Note that the title of this blog entry is an actualy quote of George)