Al Gore Wins Nobel Moves to Antarctic

Al Gore winner of the 2007 Nobel Peace Prize has announced that he is moving to the Antarctic. He states "it's melting dammit and I want to ride that Larsen ice shelf back to Tennessee". The Larsen ice shelf is collapsing at much faster then predicted rates. Have a happy Blog Action Day!

You Can't (Not) Make this Stuff Up

Kids of any age can now get married in the great state of Arkansas. As reported by CNN a law intended to forbid kids younger then 18 from getting married was written in a syntactically challenged manner. Apparently an extra "not" was inserted thus changing the meaning of the law so that kids of any age can get married, although still requiring parental consent.

Psssst Here's the Tape But Don't Tell Anyone

OK someone manages to ferret out a video tape for a not quite released Bin Laden appearance. That someone does a favor to the Bushy administration and gives them a heads up undercondition of KEEP THIS SECRET. What to do? Broadcast the info to every intelligence agency possible, thus compromising the source! Unbelievable, no just the usual day-to-day operation of your friends in the current (countdown 460ish days left) administration.

Senator Larry Craig: The Gift that Keeps on Giving

That's right boys and girls CNN reports that Senator Larry (toe tapper) Craig has just been selected for induction into the Idaho Hall of Fame. Can you imagine the exhibit possibilities!

Of course there would be the obligatory full scale replica of the Minneapolis airport bathroom stall, but I say hey why stop with an old fashioned static exhibit. How about making it truly interactive, you know get the kids involved. Install replica's of both stalls and have little Johnny act the role of police officer. What better way to give the kids an appreciation of the difficult job law enforcement must endure. For the particularly adventurous kids they can play the role of Senator Craig himself by matching their foot positions with the interactive foot tapping and wide stance simulator built right into the floor. What a great way to teach the kids how to be safe in public restrooms I can't wait for the induction ceremony!

We Care About Our Vets (wink wink)

A New York Times Editorial "Slogging on the Home Front" details that veterans, seven months from the uproar about lax care which initiated promises promises to fix the problem by the Administration are still absurd. Let's see now so we ship these kids off to war. They get wounded. They come back and have to spend...oh half a year on average getting a decision on their disability status. Seems reasonable no?

Oh and remember that during that half year they just might be struggling to get their bodies and lives back together. Not to mention that traumatic brain injury (TBI) and post traumatic stress are turning out to be the "signature disabilities" of the war. While in that state it's good for all the vets and their families to learn how to deal with bureaucracy...ayeee.

The Secret Life of Dick Cheney

Dick Cheney claims that he is not part of the executive branch and he's not part of the legislative branch. At least he's not claiming to be part of the Supreme Court (for now). So why should we care? Well there's this pesky law administered by Archives of the government called "The Presidential Records Act (PRA) of 1978"

In the introductory explanation of the Act the web site states:

The Presidential Records Act (PRA) of 1978, 44 U.S.C. ß2201-2207, governs the official records of Presidents and Vice Presidents created or received after January 20, 1981. The PRA changed the legal ownership of the official records of the President from private to public, and established a new statutory structure under which Presidents must manage their records.

And to be even clearer in a listing of specifics "Requires that Vice-Presidential records are to be treated in the same way as Presidential records."

Veep Cheney claims that he's not completely part of the Executive Branch in order to avoid any Congressional oversight and avoid turning over any documents he considers "secret", which is basically everything. Examining House member Henry Waxman's Oversight and Government Reform web page we see thread of letter from Waxman to Cheney to the National Archives to the Attorney General, it's a thrill to see government at work.

One highlight is Waxman's "Fact Sheet" titled "The Vice President's Efforts to Avoid Oversight and Accountability" in which he lists: Exepmting the Office of the Vice President from the Executive Order on Classified National Security Information; Blocking GAO Oversight; Concealing Privately-Funded Travel; Withholding Information about Vice Presidential Staff; Concealing Inforamtion about Visitors to the Vice President's Residence; Allowing Former Vice Presidents to Assert Privelege Over Documents.

Cheney is simply brilliant! There's a law stating that the President's records must be made public. The President's office being the Executive Branch leads to the obvious conclusion that to avoid compliance simply declare that you are NOT part of the Executive Branch. To top it all off Cheney proposed to eliminate the specific office at the Archives responsible for administering the Presidential Records Act. Genius!!

Where Oh Where is Cheny

A wonderful little column by Al Kamen in the Washington Post elucidates the now he's there not he's not qualities of our dear VP. Kamen points out that the Veep's office is hostile to the media and for the month of August:

His daily schedule most often says "no public events are scheduled." From May through September, for example, the Federal News Service Daybook listed about a dozen notices of his whereabouts. For August, the Reuters Daybook had him simply in Wyoming but noted that he would be at the dedication of the "Craig Thomas Discovery and Visitor Center at Grand Teton National Park."

More interestingly Cheney's claim that he is not part of the executive nor legislative branches of government, therefore not subject to document preservation laws raises the distinct possibility that Cheney is the first sitting quantum human. This Quantum VP much like the quantum neither here nor there states of subatomic particles deserves further attention and will be examined in detail in a blog near (or is it far) you. Note that the topic has already been touched upon in "This Modern World" by Tom Tomorrow.

It All Depends on your Definition of Torture

"We don't torture" ... this quote from President Bush on a number of occasions is now under question. Surprise!
A just revealed secret legal opinion in 2005 by Alberto (he's my boy) Gonzales says that "a combination of painful physical and psychological tactics, including head-slapping, simulated drowning and frigid temperatures" are all okie dokey.

Oh and according to military people experienced in these situation torture just doesn't work. Of course some people still think there are WMD's in Iraq.

Dear Senator Craig

You might consider putting metal cleats on the bottom of your shoes, much like tap dancing shoes. That way as you tap your way in bathroom stalls you can more clearly communicate your intent via Morse Code. Of course not many people will actually understand the code however the waiting police are more likely then the average Joe. If your stall neighbor is confused by your tapping you can always resort to rubbing your hand underneath the partition.

Of course these well laid plans may be thwarted by alert airport staff. The stalls in question have apparently become tourist destinations with throngs of people taking photographs. The stalls are, sigh, being remodelled .

Good luck in all your future tap dancing.