Computer Rage...Damn Technology

Came across an interesting article in the Washington Post the other day titled, Repair Teams Try to Calm Computer Rage. It was very interesting and pointed out how people that used to be counselors are now manning help desks being empathetically and soothing to their customers. But it made me think of all those devices and programs that try to be "smart" and usually do the wrong thing. That is maddening!

We have this "smart" copy machine at work that detects the size of the piece of paper and picks the source bin for the paper. So if you are copying a large piece of paper it uses the large size paper, like legal size as opposed to the usual letter size. I needed to copy some small pieces of paper, receipts I think, so I put one down, moved it over to the side but still on the glass, and voila I had LARGE pieces of paper coming out....Annoying. I'm happy to just pick the source bin myself since that's a simple process. I don't need this kind of "intelligence".

Microsoft Word manages to do oodles of "smart" things that are wrong sooooooo much. Ever try to type a word at the beginning of a line and have Word magically "decide" to capitalize it...even when you didn't want it capitalized? OR ever try to get numbering to work correctly. Hit the return and it goes back to 1 when you want it to continue or visa versa. Of course these things can all be fixed but there are a maddening number of menus to go through.

Then there is of course the famous user interface conundrum for Windows that forces you to click on the START button to get to the dialog to shut it down!

The Mac is not immune to such nonsense (although it is now fixed) for years you had to drag a floppy to the trash can to eject, NOT to erase...oy!

Of course we'd all like a DWIM (Do What I Mean) mode but that seems to be a few years off.

In the rare case of an erection lasting more then 4 hours...

We have a bad habit in my house of turning on the TV while eating dinner. There's nothing like watching the news and chowing down at the same time. All of us just perk right up when we watch the onslaught of "erectile dysfunction" products on the tube. You would think that not a single male in America could get it up given the quantity of ads spewing out of the screen. They are however, most entertaining.

I thought I was watching a Saturday Night Live skit when I first saw the ad for one of these gems showing a whole neighborhood of men jumping up and down to the tune of Queens, "We Are the Champions". Clearly the ad agency was on other drugs when they came up with that one. Of course the highlight for most of these ads is listening to the fast talker at the end of the ad stating all the obligatory contraindications. Wouldn't you like to be a fly on
the wall of that emergency room when all the 4 hour erection males show up!

Energy, Ethics and Nukes oh My!

President Bush came forward today with a number of brilliant suggestions to solve the energy crisis. Build refineries on closed military bases, not a bad idea except refineries don't make money so oil companies don't want to build them. Tax breaks for clear diesel cars, that's a genuinely good idea, really! Give the energy industry guarantees to avoid all those pesky regulations when building a nuclear power point. Never mind that the American public is terrified of the plants, ever hear of Three Mile Island; and all that nasty nuclear waste still has no place to go for oh, 1,000 years until it decays. All of those suggestions won't help for years, if ever. It would be silly to ask for increasing the CAFE (car gas fuel requirements) standards wouldn't it, that would only reduce demand. Pardon me silly thought.

Speaking of nuclear waste and Nukes, the nuclear option, removing the ability to filibuster on judicial nominations, remains on the table at the Senate. Of course a recent ABC poll illustrated that 60% of the public is against this radical rule change, so let's hope the rules get changed! Nothing like a good enemy to unite the opposition.

Speaking of enemies, poor Tom DeLay, is having a bad ethical day. Dennis Hastert, speaker of the House, ate some crow today and is changing the ethics rules back to where they were. Now a split House ethics committee vote will start an investigation. Good thing DeLay's PAC is a significant contributor to the chair of that committee.

I'm getting flush with all the exciting stuff going on!

Data? We don't need no stinkin' data!

Yes folks it time once again for this years edition of the US State Department's annual terrorism report, "Patterns of Global Terrorism 2004". Last years report had to be withdrawn and a "corrected" version was issued to get rid
of all the undercount problem. You know sort of reverse exaggeration. Rather then deal with the embarrassment of an incorrect report, this year, the problem was neatly solved by simply withholding the data. Just because the press is reporting that the numbers show that attacks are way up is no reason to present the public with actual, dare I say it, data.

Way to go Condi!

Florida and the NRA, they Deserve Each Other

Just when you thought that wacky Florida legislature was resting from their numerous attempts to "save the life" of Terry Schiavo because all life is precious, the "force with force" bill allowing the use of deadly force was passed. Thanks to the lobbying efforts of the National "pry that gun from my cold dead hands" Rifle Association, Jeb (Dubya's bro) Bush signed a law allowing the use of deadly force to defend oneself on the street. This means that if you piss off someone in Florida, they can just shoot to kill, claim they were in fear of their life and they are off the hook. Wham bam thank you maam! Personally I'm looking forward to the day the NRA holds a convention in Florida and serves a lot of booze.

I love the smell of a nuclear Senate in the spring

Ahhh the cherry blossoms have bloomed, the trees are green again, Terry Schiavo has gone to meet her maker and Senator Frist is about to detonate a nuclear bomb on the floor of the Senate. Ain't springtime in Washington grand? When last we left our beaten and bereaved troop of Democratic candidates, their heads were clearly tucked between their legs. Then all of a sudden, just one persistent vegetative state, and a private account away and poof, those Dems almost seem to have their proverbial act together!

Now the honorable Senator Frist, or should I say Dr. Frist who was playing to the right via an HIV incident described as:
"ABC?s George Stephanopolous, questioning Frist about the inaccuracies in many abstinence-only sex education curricula that were brought to light this week by California Democratic Rep. Henry Waxman, asked whether ?tears and sweat can transmit HIV.? Frist first said, ?I don?t know,? then later said, ?You can get the virus in tears and sweat. But in terms of the degree of infecting somebody, it would be very hard.? is again playing hard right with the judiciary.

So 200 years of good Senatorial practice isn't good enough for Dubya and his lackeys. That truly quaint old rule, the filibuster, which allows any individual Senator to block virtually all legislation is under attack! Nevermind that the Republicans blocked twice as many judicial appointments during the Clinton years as the Dems are now doing for Bush. Nevermind that the Constitution has that pesky line about the Senate to "Advise and Consent" judicial nominations. It would be great for the "right-to-stay-in-a-persistent-vegetative-state" association or the "my-religion-is-right-and-yours-is-wrong" movement to simply buy off a few extra votes and get some real laws put into place.

Nuke em! Nuke em all! Let's see whose left standing in a year or two.